It's human nature, isn't it, to keep score of the wrongs our spouse commits? I know I can be guilty of this pattern. Especially when those so-called "wrongs" touch a nerve in our relationship. For example, I'm a neat-nick. My husband is more casual about the idea of orderly organization. At times, I know I drive him crazy, and vice versa...and at times, we let each other know about it!
Like I said, human nature.
It's easy to dole out sage advice to our friends--you know, perhaps saying, "Forgive and move forward together." Easy, because the hurt and circumstance doesn't belong to us personally. We're not as emotionally invested in the cries of, "It's not my fault, it's his!" or "It's not my fault, it's hers!"
Statements and emotions like that can become battle lines, can't they?
Well, to answer that, here's a rebuttal that may seem pat, and a bit cliched, but, after all, don't all cliches have their genesis in fundamental truth? What's the rebuttal?
"What would Jesus do?"
Don't push the statement aside. Deeply consider the idea for a few moments. Let it sink in. What's our Savior's teaching on overcoming strife? 70 x 7. Forgive that often. Be willing to go still and listen and work out the battles that often. From the heart. That often.
Daunting challenge, isn't it?
In Devotion Juliet knows full well this requirement of Christ's teaching. However, the wounded and blindsided human that she is, she struggles mightily with that issue.
Have you done the same? Are you in the midst of such a battle? If so, think about it and talk about it, if not with your spouse yet, then with a trusted and impartial counselor/confidante. My parish pastor said it so well recently: "Three components are absolutely necessary to a successful marriage. Man, woman, and GOD. God is the glue and the potter that takes two sinful, broken, but loving human beings and ordains their relationship with holiness, grace and mercy."
Go forth and forgive...and know its God's will and road you and your spouse travel as you do so!
Blessings!
Marianne
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Isn't it easy to forget the blessings of our relationships when strife settles in? I find I have to keep Christ's 70 x 7 teachings close to heart daily - and it's not easy!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have a very wise pastor, Marianne. Great post! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think hubby and I get along so well because we have so many awful relatives. They help keep everything in perspective. Little things, ah, they're the things found at the bottom of my purse LOL.
ReplyDeleteGood post, Marianne. xo
Dora, I have to tell you. The homily to which I refer in this post was AMAZING. The entire church was spellbound and the sole topic was God and marriage. When he finished with his sermon, the church launched into applause. That's unheard of, really during a common, "Sunday Service." But, it was that powerful, and that many people were deeply affected. He prached the topic the weekend of Devotion's release. That hit me hard. If you missed my blog post on that service, you can find it at "Your Spouse, A Gift From God." God bless, and you're such a treasure!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat analogy, Tanya!! I think my DH and I get along so well because together, we form a balance. I ride the highs and lows - he's rock steady. I'm a neat-freak - he's more casual. I'm detail orented, he goes with the flow. Together God gives us a balance, a true center that comes only from Him. Love to you, my friend!!
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